Judy Lewis Dishes on Your To-Do's Before the 'I Do's'

Jun 25, 2009

01:46 PM

A Not-So-White Wedding

Here Comes the Bride, All Dressed in...

Carol asks: “My daughter is getting married and has told me that she wants her bridesmaids and Maid of Honor to wear black. I’m surprised, because I thought that black was a no-no, just as white is reserved for the bride.”

Dear Carol: Times they are a-changing! Once black was "forbidden" as a color choice for bridesmaids. Today, many brides opt for that color in deference to their bridesmaids who may be able to wear their gowns more than just once. As for white being only for the bride, this tradition too has stepped aside as black and white weddings, all black, or all white weddings become more and more popular.

Hey Mr. DeeJay

Netta asks: “Call me a nervous Nellie, but how do I ‘protect’ myself from having my DJ or photographer (who work alone) bailing if they are sick and being left without music and/or photos?”

Dear Netta: I don’t think you’re being an alarmist. Most wedding professionals who work alone have a backup team to cover for them in case of an emergency. It's unusual, but if there is an emergency, he or she gets hurt or sick, or something catastrophic happens, you could be out a photographer and miss capturing these memories. Get the names and contact numbers for each of the back up team.

Child's Play

Ginger asks: “We’re a close family and will have lots of children attending our wedding. I know that children have very little patience and when they get bored, they get into trouble. Can you make some suggestions about how children can be included in the event and be made to feel important by doing so?”

Dear Ginger: Aside from those children who are singled out as ring bearer, flower girl, and junior bridesmaids, there are any number of important roles that children can play in a wedding. It’s critical that you speak to the parents of the children who are being chosen for those jobs. Make it clear to the parents, as delicately as possible, that they need to keep an eye on their children and ensure that the tasks are completed.

Here are some of the ways in which children can participate in a wedding:

• They can distribute wedding favors and/or programs to the guests
• At the ceremony location, they can distribute directions to the reception
• Children can serve as escorts and greet the guests
• A child with musical abilities can be the page turner for the organist or other soloist
• Children can hand out flowers, as well as rice, birdseed, bubbles, or confetti
• One or more of the older children can take candid pictures of the family and bridal party, and/or serve as the “people pointer” and identify VIP guests to the photographer/videographers
• Children can assist guests in finding seats at the ceremony and at the reception
• After the reception, when the gifts are opened, the children in the family can help opening gifts and/or keeping a list of who gave what

For more kid-friendly ideas, visit HudsonValleyWeddings.com’s Guide article, “Kidding or No Kidding.”

To submit a question to "The Wedding Guru," e-mail it to judy@hvmag.com

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