Gift Registry?

Ok, this gift registry thing is definitely one part of the planning process that I don't need to be involved in. I can see how some grooms to be may be into what types of plates and glasses and linens they have in the crib, but I'm not one of them. For one, I'm color blind, and more importantly, I'm not very particular when it comes to stuff like that. I did give it the old college try though--once.

Dana and I went to Fortunoff's in White Plains last Sunday to continue our gift registry. She had already been there with her mother, so they already had our account set up, whatever that means.

Basically here's what you do. The store gives you a little scanner, and you scan in all the essential household goods you can think of that you would like people to buy you as gifts. I was a little confused at first as to what the gifts are for. I certainly don't want people buying me EVERYDAY FLATWARE as a wedding gift. But Dana explained to me that these are Bridal Shower gifts. Ok, I get it, I think. By the way, the scanner is not that rad. It's not shaped like a gun or anything in the weapon family. I didn't even once get the urge to scan something. I did want to put this life-size wine glass on our list though, it was as tall as me! But Dana gave me the Amy Winehouse: "NO, NO, NO".

Dana almost immediately recruited a team of Fortunoff's employees to help her with the registry so I'm not even sure why she asked me to come. I guess she likes having me around, which is cool, but this gift registry stuff does NOT EXCITE ME at all. I was fading pretty early on. Meanwhile, Dana was totally into it, matching tablecloths with plates with her personal little home design crew.

Truth is I trust Dana with the registry and anything involving décorating, cooking, and household items. I know she's going to pick us out the nicest sheets, the BEST FORKS, and the sickest bedspreads. So I told her that I was gracefully bowing out of the gift registry process after our three-hour trip to Fortunoff's. She understood, kind of.

Now maybe if we could register at somewhere fun, like BEST BUY, I'd be more of an enthusiastic participant. You know, his and her IPODs, maybe a Playstation 3, some CDs, a few movies, maybe one of those Blue Ray players, or a flat screen for the bedroom. Maybe ROCK BAND? Then I'd be all over it. Or how about registering at the liquor store? A little Hennessey, some wine, Grey Goose, Bailey's, Belvedere, maybe Jack Daniel's Blue Label for our more wealthy relatives to cop. That would be fun.

Ultimately, I've learned that the gift registry is for the bridal shower, where all the women sit around and open up gifts for two hours straight. I won't even be around when the gifts are opened! But I imagine when it's all over I will be the one writing the thank you notes.